Excerpts from Presidential Address By TR.

Today morning, I received a message from parallel universe named jinakkujikka, where TR has assumed the post of president of India and has delivered a stunning speech on Republic Day Anniversary. But due to transmission issues only excerpts were obtained. I have reproduced the same. Will reproduce as and when I get the remaining portions.

Note 1 : Add the below portion after every para for special effects.
Yei Dandanakka, Danakkunakka,
Janankkujikka, Jinakkujikka,
Nakka-Mukka, Yei Dikka Dinka Dikka…

India gave the world rama, nama and kama,
but is currently nearing a grave coma,
and is awaiting it’s own obama.

sallu and sanju are out on bail,
roaming freely outside jail,
that shows our justice system is all fricking fail.

we need a change in law,
it should become transparent like Shakila,
urmila, pramila,
la-la-la.

viewers and players of sports like hockey,
are treated akin donkey,
but with solutions that are turnkey,
these sports could become funky.

India as a nation,
should convert its frustration to determination,
work with passion,
and march towards its destination.

Note of Thanks: TR is an inspiration who has provided the Tamils an escape route to all the PJs. But I guess we have earned it by withstanding the torture, which we pass on with posts like this 🙂

Note 2: Can you think of something better(worser) than these? Express yourself as comments please… Lets see who rules.

Commentarippu -1

Alert 1: In parts of the post, the tone may be that of an expert. But that’s just to get the point across. This post is just a dumbo’s view. For that matter, any post.

Rakhi commenting about  Aishwarya’s features?  Or worse me commenting on Shakespeare? But, Sanjay Manjarekar talking about sliding on the field?

Yes pals. This post is about cricket commentary these days. Lets start with a background.

Cricket as a sport has not undergone violent changes for most of it’s history. It was played in whites, by gentlemen; atleast you had to act like one. Unlike our Bhajji who always behaves like someone with a dysentery after winning a molaga bhajji eating competition against Sreeshant, who in turn cries because he lost it(Yes its difficult to pun his name for his acts!). This until Kerry Packer. It could be said that the gentlemanly nature of the game began taking a beating when he started the World Series. Till then it was a leisure sport which made money. Post this, it became a sport making money out of viewer’s leisure. And money does it make!!

In a way this turned out to be good for the sport as such. It has driven more innovations in telecasting, advertising etc. More people than ever have taken interest to the game. The game has become much more interesting. Yes, there will be purists crying that its no more exciting. But no. Not in my opinion atleast. I think the tense-match situations have racketed  up more than anytime before. Last heard this topped the list of causes of Hernia according to a scientific study by TOI(let). Is there anyone who watched RR lift the trophy in IPL after a nail biting match, who dint enjoy that match? To add to that, everyone agrees that one-dayers played a key role in test cricket being much more exciting in 2000s than 1990s. So all is well.

But against expectations, this commercialization has nt done any good to the art of commentary. This is the real irony. Ideally the drive towards professionalism should have benefited it. But that’s like expecting capitalism to do good for environment. Okay that was a lift-off from somewhere. I don’t have an iota of how it works. But to say the truth, people who run the game, read Lalit Modi, dont give a damn to this art anymore. It’s no more a feature that brings people to the television for him. He relies on cinestars and benign pitches where even umm…. No, I am not calling out Boycott’s grandma. I always knew she can hit sixes…umm… yeah even Boycott can take a single.

So commentary is treated as something that has to be there. Given an option Lalit would put the audio advertisements in it’s place. Remember Old-Time Radio ads. “Anjaal Aluppu Marundu”… just when Sachin is struggling with cramps. Or “Saravana Selvarathinam Thangam matrum Javuli Maligai” when Sreesanth’s jewelery is shown, mind you.. it will be shown.

But such days are far… i mean atleast till IPL-3 starts. Today the condition is no better. Everyone cringes when DLFfer is pouted by some whacko commentator. I guess many, like me, prefer muting TV and switch on the laptop for songs. And yeah my mother too yells about me wasting electricity.

And the worst part for me is the guys who do the commentary. As noticed in Cricinfo, off late, the BCCI has it’s own commentators and not of the telecaster. This in short means, it has bought all the commentators. Those who dont want to fall in line are just shown the door. Read Sidhu. I guess many are repulsed by Sidhu’s commentary. But as the old saying goes You hate him or love him… but you cant ignore him.  But L.Sivaramakrishnan. You just ignore him any day.

As for Ravi Shastri, kaadhu pulichu pochu… thenja tape….(Tamil synonyms for Cliche) etc. etc. He seriously needs to take a vacation. I know he treats every tour as a vacation ;). So yeah, we need a vacation from him.

Only person I dont want/deserve to comment on is Gavaskar. For all his Aussie bad-bad comments, he atleast makes cricketing sense. Its a pleasure when he gives his inputs of the game. And yeah. that bat-sliding lecture always sounds cool to me. Dravid being the latest causality.

But Sanjay Manjarekar.. Dude. Please… You have no moral authority or right to talk about Sachin not being aggressive enough or Indian fielders like Raina sliding too often…. I never curse anyone… so… Polachu Po.

education aka echakation Part-1

Call it 3 idiots effect. But, like any sane person would do, i see multiple flaws in our echaketta system. I intend to register them here in series. Let me begin with this recent ROFL story that may scare you off if you intend to ever have kids in future.. This is the summary of most problems in the system

A dost of mine has a 3-yr. old kid. He wants to join her in a prestigious school in Bangalore. Okay. Thats a sign of a proud father. He goes and fills up the application that costs just Rs. 7000.  Ada paavigala, the cost of  a new printer to print 7000 pages will cost less than Rs. 7000. To give a ondra ana xerox application these buggers charge Rs. 7000. Day light robbery I say. Our helpless dost buys them and obediently submits them. Now he gets to know his kid is a few months short to be qualified to get into pre-kg. Seriously, I never knew that a  pre-KG admission was done in the mode of Army selection. But this is just a trailor. The dost has nt lost his sanity yet. Picture abhee baaki hei.

The dost’s father-in-law is an influential man and has connections. No I am not talking about him using his connections to help me out of a rape or murder case. I am talking about him using his connections to get a pre-KG seat. Damnit. Okay. What big a connection you say. Ex-PM I say. Ex-PM for pre-KG. The story is funny but I already feel blood tears from your eyes. But hold your breath.

Our Ex-PM’s recommendation was taken to the school. And the best part of the story is, the school owner rejected it off-hand. It seems he believes that true merit starts with a lottery system. Guess he wants lucky children. (I beg to differ. Are nt they unlucky?) He intends to throw all the applications received in the air and select the applications that he catches, for the next round. Reminds me of a Ramesh Khanna-Karthik comedy. The children selected in application screening are interviewed. Then their parents. And if 2 children are tied for a spot after all this, the Parent’s Salary is the tie-breaker.

I understand, that part of you wants to ROFL but part of you wants to commit suicide. Let your sperms decide that… 😛

Racki et. al.

i fear only god… and dogs. What with dog population competing with humans in bangalore, life is proving very difficult. I feel like a deer in a jungle full of tigers. Okay. That’s taking it too far. But point made.

I have nt been bitten by a dog till date. Touchwood. But have had many a mental trauma coz of them. Friends in US fear of getting mugged. We are bugged by these creatures. You got to have guts for venturing to a friends place in any corner of the city beyond 11 pm. For me, it’s tricky to even visit my own house beyond midnight. These dogs especially seem to have a liking to Bikes. I have tried everything. Go fast, they chase faster. Go slow, they bark louder. They just reuse the energy and achieve their lives’ goal of sending you crazy. I bet the number of bike accidents here is more due to dogs than beautiful girls in town. Thats a sad commentary on any city, aint it?

All said, dogs seem to have a special affinity towards me. Dogs and me go a long way back.

That dog racki(yea he mildly resembled our silicon rakhi )… he hated me… i hated him.  For that matter any dog. Its always been a hate-hate relationship. I have a strange feeling that i must ve been a dog killing maniac or a dog escaping cat in the previous Jenma, that has induced an eternal hate for me in their genes.

Coming back to racki.

Where: chennai. When: my second std. i was living a blissful life. the neighbors were a wonderful lot. The elder sis. there was very fond of me; she used to give me Russian chocolates, introduced me to micheal jackson’s moonwalk videos etc. Basically it was just another home for me. It was in 3rd standard when this racki came into my life. He was brought to be a part of our neighbor’s family. Dunno what he saw in me… he started shouting; i started screaming. i was robbed of a home :(.. i had to double-check 5 times(2×5=10 :P) if Racki is tied to even think about going to their home. Everyone including my family and sis & her family thought it was a temporary phenomena. But the theorem was proved wrong. The dog turned out to be more friendly with everyone in my family-parents and brother. The bitterness he had for me never lessened. It continued to last for over a year.

One fine Sunday, i was playing outside(dunno what) and my family was around too. The sis and her brothers came out for a walk. With that monster.  In the last ditch effort to socialize that dog with me, the sis let the chains free… and that bloody dog just came after me ferociously. I went helter-skelter like a child who is force-fed bitter guard.  I escaped dog and entered my home. Unluckily my bro was just outside the open door. The dog’s junglee behavior frightened him too. Just as my brother was running in, I latched the door. The dog took its vengeance on him. Poor him. Was taken to a doc for a Tetanus. I felt and still feel bad for him. I could have waited a sec. more for him to come in. Every Second Matters.

Level Set.

Setting expectations.
1) I am an idiot.. i always knew that.. Post ‘3 idiots’ it seems to ve a diff. meaning. so i can say it loud guessing that u ll misunderstand.. thanks
so you can expect idiotic posts.. again please misunderstand.
2) i am a busy man though or because i get up at 9 o clk and go to office at 10 and work in an unorganized fashion till 6 or 7 and while away the rest as a veggie. some as a vegetarian and others as a vegetable.
So dont expect me to be politically or factually cent percent correct. i live in an independent country.
3) i am a thorough gentleman. i dont intend to hurt any gentle minds. so i dont intend to talk abt saints like vattal nagaraj, alagiri, alagiri’s son, karunanidhi, karunanidhi’s yet to be born “any relations”. it might end up hurting some’one’.

4) i dont read veraciously, i dont know western music, i dont know carnatic music. no abc on any of the above. i know lots of cricket, bits of football, tennis, lots of tamil and hindi movies, bits of english movies, bits of classic books, bits of history, psychology, etc.

5) i am not a manager. so u can expect the posts to be free of all that mumbo-jumbo of a peter manager. i tend to be funny when i am on a marana mokka roll. I also tend to have a different  and independent line of thought on many issues mostly due to a secular and jolly upbringing (See am a good son and also not a manager. i give credit where its due).

6) i love debating on things. i tend to take opp. view of myself to see how far i can defend that. thats both funny and gives a diff. perspective. so roll on. debate with me please.

Finally, please put up with me for sometime. atleast till my posts get better or till i leave 🙂 u are always welcome to encourage me. or better. RIP ME apart.

Dont wait.. keep ur comments coming.

Hello world!

“hello world!”.. any programmer will cringe at that wont he? a request to wordpress – please remove this as default